Mother's Day 2017

This is a letter I wrote last year to all the moms out there who have gone through a loss.

To the Momma on Mother’s Day who does not have her child:

Dear Momma,

I know how you feel. This would have been my first Mother’s Day. I have always looked forward to this day as a kid and growing up. I remember what we would do for my Mom. My Dad would always try to make it special. My brother and I would get to go pick out our own cards for her and her presents. Some Mother’s Day mornings we would make Mom breakfast. She is not a breakfast person so it usually consisted of ice cream (her favorite food group).

I was really excited this year for Mother’s Day. It would be my daughter’s and I first one. I did not even have to wait that long, because Mother’s Day was a month after her due date. All of that changed when precious Eleanor was stillborn. I was devastated. She was my husband’s and I first child.

So here I am writing this to the all the mommas who have had babies, but only have the stretch marks and the memories of carrying their little one to prove they had a child. I ask my husband all the time. “Am I really a mommy?” It’s hard for me to think I am since I only had those eight months with her in my belly. He always assures me that I am a mommy and a great one at that.

Momma, Mother’s Day is still your day. Yes, the public might not know the hurt and heartbreak you went through when you lost your little one. You still get to celebrate this day. It might not be the way that you imagined it, but you are still a mommy. You carried that child with you, and they are yours. That qualifies you. No matter if you lost your child at 8 weeks, 20 weeks, 35 weeks, only had them for a couple months, or you lost your baby when they were 25 years old, you are still a momma!!! So go out and celebrate how amazing of a woman and mother you are!! Go do something nice for yourself. When you go to church and they hand out the flowers to all the mommas walk up there proudly!! You carried your precious baby, and you are their momma no matter what!!! There will probably be many tears on this day for you (I know there will be for me), but instead of remembering the sadness: Remember the way you felt when your baby first kicked, or the sound of their heartbeat, remember the surge of joy you felt when you saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. Get the ultrasound pictures out you have of your baby and just enjoy the time that you had with them even if it was a short time. If you don’t have pictures find something that reminds you of the baby you carried and smile. Just remember those joyful moments you had even though they were cut short.

That is what I will be doing on this Mother’s day. Remembering the time I had with my little Eleanor Rose. Nothing can take that away from me. Even though I will shed many, many tears on this day I am going to try to smile through them knowing that the time I had with her was precious and no on can take that away from me.

Just remember Momma, you carried your baby (no matter for how long) YOU ARE STILL A MOMMA and deserve to be celebrated on this day.

All my love,

Betsy