MIA For TOO Long

Hey everyone!!! It has been too long my friends!!! Every time I start to write just nothing comes out of these fingers of mine. So here I go again....

This weekend I went back to Iowa. Usually I am not a fan of going back to Iowa. For some reason it is so hard for me to go back since we lost Eleanor. I have no idea why that is, because we never took her there. All the same it is hard to leave Missouri to go back to Iowa. That being said this weekend was SO NEEDED!!!! Iowa for the first time in a long time was refreshing and renewing. I saw my family, my in laws, I got to meet my brother's girlfriend, and I got to hang out with my best friend and her outgoing family!!! Going back just reinforced how much I am ready for our little family to grow. You have no idea what a four year old just blabbing away about nothing, a two year old filling her pockets full of conversation hearts, an eight year old laughing at the silly things he says, and a newborn just snoozing away in your arms does to your heart. O the love I have in my heart for my best friend's kiddos. Seeing those kids grow up makes me think of how Eleanor would have fit into that picture. She for sure would have been toddling around just trying to keep up with all of the energy. It made me miss her, but at the same time I found so much joy in it.

If it was not for losing her I would not find those small moments that I got to spend with my best friend's kids as significant. Yes, I would have treasured them, but it would not have been something I would hold on to. I have just realized how precious life is. Before I would go through life and take for granted all of those special moments. Seeing one of my friend's daughter walk for the first time would not have been as big of a deal before, but now it is just an absolutely amazing thing from seeing her go from being carried, to crawling, to walking. How amazing is that? Maybe all parents go through this stage where seeing there kids make these milestones as incredible.

My blog is all about the hidden joys that I am uncovering from Eleanor's death. One of those joys I discovered this weekend was not taking the little things for granted. Those little day to day moments that can get repetitive or frustrating, just how much joy they can bring. I just want to thank Eleanor for opening my eyes to this. I honestly do not think I would have seen the mundane as something to celebrate.