Nana and Eleanor

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness month. This month is dear to my heart now for two reasons. My Nana had breast cancer, and she eventually passed away from it. Now also my baby has passed away too. It is ironic that I get to celebrate both of them in the same month. So I am writing a post to reminisce about both of them.

My Nana was my hero when she was alive. My whole life I remember her being sick. She had a lot of different cancers. I do not remember much about her sicknesses, I just remember that she tried to not let it get in the way of being with her grandchildren. I have the best memories about her. Also I think I was pretty spoiled, because at the time I was the only granddaughter. So I usually always got my way over the boys with Nana. She taught me how to sew, and we would make clothes for my dolls. She also told the best stories!! We would sit there for hours. I would have her tell me stories about when my dad was little. We would sit there and laugh about pictures of her and my grandpa from when they were younger. She had to go to the hospital many times during my life, but I remember when we would go visit her at the hospital she would always be smiling for my brother and I. Many times she felt weak or sick so we would have to stay at the house, but I did not mind at all because just sitting there and listening to her tell stories was the best. We would play games in the car. Silly games that always ended up with talking about grandpa's dirty socks, and we would laugh and laugh and laugh. Another thing I remember about my Nana is she was so strong in her faith. She knew without a shadow of a doubt she was going to go to Heaven when she died. I have some fuzzy memories of her worshipping at church, but from what I can remember it was beautiful. I want to hold on to those memories. I remember in her last days she was still trying to be strong.

The thing I love most is that two of the people I loved most in this world are in Heaven together. I am sure that my Nana is staying with Eleanor and helping take care of her. Nana is up there telling her stories just like she did to her mommy. (Can you imagine the stories they are hearing from other people in Heaven, too?? Like Paul, David, and Jesus himself, the best story teller in history). I am sure she is teaching Eleanor how to sew and make clothes for her dolls. I see both of them worshipping Jesus, just like I used to see my Nana do on earth. My heart is filled with joy when I envision that. O how I cannot wait for Jesus to come back so I can see some of my two favorite people again and worship Jesus with them.

So I just wanted to take time to remember my Nana and my baby girl this month. I also ask all of you to take a moment to think of the people you have lost to breast cancer or babies you have lost. These are two very sobering thoughts. Just take a moment to remember those people who have lost babies no matter the time if it was at four weeks or if the baby was older then that. It is still a baby that was close to someones heart. Do not just think about everything you have lost, but also think about the joy you had with them no matter how short the time. It is easier sometimes to just think of the loss that you have suffered. I find it good for me to think about the joyful times I had with Eleanor even though the time was short. Don't get me wrong I still think about all that we lost, but then I think about all that I get to gain in eternity with her, with my Nana, and with Jesus.

P.S.

If you know someone who has lost a baby, just let them know that there little one is not forgotten. That is the biggest thing their mom or dad wants to hear. That their baby is remembered, because they think about them every single day.